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Punk Outraged After Stranger Actually Accepts Her $1 in Exchange for a Cigarette

LOS ANGELES — Local punk Zoey Thomas is absolutely outraged today after stranger, Daniel Morgan, accepted her $1 in exchange for a single cigarette outside of the local venue Lucky Cats, according to sources.

“Look, I’m a social smoker — I only crave cigarettes when I’m wasted every weekend. I don’t need to buy my own pack, so bumming loosies is good with me,” Thomas said. “I saw some normie-looking dude smoking over by the ATM so I took the dollar out of my pocket and offered to buy a stoge off of him… and he took it from my hand! Who does that? Everyone in this scene knows people just offer to buy it for show, but they’re never actually supposed to take it. What happened to our core values?”

“At the end of the day, it’s just common courtesy,” she added. “Fucking poser.”

Morgan, who accepted the controversial dollar, couldn’t help but disagree with this unwritten rule.

“Put yourself in my shoes, man. Cigarette prices are only going up around here,” Morgan said as he took a drag of his American Spirit Light. “Plus, she was wearing brand new Doc Martens, and even had on a new Mischief Brew tee. Perfectly black, too — not a faded dark grey, and no cracks on the logo or anything. She clearly ordered that shit online. I just knew she could afford the dollar charge.”

“She should have just used the oldest trick in the book and asked for a hit, and then I’d have no choice but to give her the one I was smoking,” he added. “Fucking poser.”

Eyewitness Liz Perez, who was also smoking a cigarette outside, struggled to take sides over the ordeal.

“I honestly understand both viewpoints. I mean, yes, it’s true, you never accept the dollar. It’s just a well-known unspoken rule,” Perez said. “But if you’re feeling stingy, you’re supposed to do the right thing and just lie. You hide your full pack and use the, ‘I’m sorry, this my last one’ line. Everyone knows that. Fucking posers.”

Thomas was outraged again moments ago when an acquaintance who agreed to give her a ride home actually accepted the $3 she offered to pay for gas.

Photo by Stephen Bell.