BUFFALO, N.Y. — A small, unorganized local collection of punks, transients, and drug addicts with minimal artistic ability and motivation keep referring to themselves as…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A four-year-old golden retriever named Sadie is far and away the most productive member of local punk house, exasperated neighbors confirmed.…
PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Seminal crust punk band Leftöver Crack canceled their upcoming Midwestern tour today when drummer Donny Morris missed the freight train door…
AMHERST, Mass. — Local resident Minkont Cranford stunned his roommates yesterday with his acquisition of an oversized, bulky organ, discovered on the street for free…
DETROIT — Avid cannabis consumer Jake Sweeney exploded in rage today after finding a seed in his marijuana for the first time in over three…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
LOS ANGELES — The artificial intelligence algorithm behind LANDR’s audio mastering service yesterday remastered all songs it received into Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” according to mildly peeved…
EL PASO, Texas — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke faced increased scrutiny from political adversaries yesterday following accusations alleging he deleted dozens of nü-metal mp3s…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their retirement to make one last…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Right Cross frontman Tony Cooper went well out of his way last night to make sure everyone attending his band’s show was…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders would not stop yelling at sound guy Ethan Gardner about “Medicare for All” during a campaign rally…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…