There’s a reason Machine Gun Kelly’s album “Tickets To My Downfall” debuted as number one on the Billboard charts. And, no, it’s not because it’s…
SAN DIEGO — Former Blink 182 guitarist Tom DeLonge reportedly spent the last six days brainstorming words that rhyme with “monolith” for a new song…
It’s 2020. The country is divided, the world is on fire, and a pop-punk album is topping the charts. At least one of these things…
CHICAGO — Veteran emo-punk band Alkaline Trio has returned to the studio to brainstorm vaguely gothic puns to title their forthcoming album, sources fond of…
POWAY, Calif. — Middle-aged man Jamie Lopez suddenly realized yesterday that he may be finally maturing after putting back a box of the sugary, marshmallow-filled…
ISLIP, N.Y. — Everything Done in Latin frontman Lawrence Joseph has lost interest in the band he’s been part of for 15 years after the…
MASPETH, N.Y. — Skull Valley frontman Jeremy Cesiro is worried his underage girlfriend would be put in danger by her returning to high school in…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pop-punk band The Dysentery Garys have left Philadelphia, dejectedly returning to their hometown of Botsford, Conn., in the wake of venue shutdowns…
MINNEAPOLIS — Pop-punk band Suburban Angst called an emergency band meeting on Friday to discuss a potential plan to write a second hit after their…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary pop-punk trio Blink-182 surprised fans by dropping a new, politically-charged single about meeting the girl of your dreams at a protest,…
WHITTIER, Calif. — Administrators at the grossly understaffed Whittier Hospital Medical Center have hired former adult film performer Janine Lindemulder as a full-time nurse based…
A lot of people seem to have forgotten but there was a time when “The Anthem” meant something in this country. Specifically, that time was…
PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday when she defied New York’s…
If you think you like bad boys, then you haven’t met 26-year-old Nora Sardana! Sardana has the incredible skill of identifying someone as a predator…
The current state of the economy is bleak and many are asking the reason why. Well, it turns out that our recession was caused by…