Alice Lahoda
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May 31, 2021
SEATTLE — Aging punk Tia Cantor was reportedly thrilled with the “life changing” new shoe inserts she received as a…
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Stephen Bell
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March 20, 2021
Richard Gere is known to be one of the silver foxes of Hollywood. With a full head of peppered grey…
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Josh Klasco
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March 5, 2021
DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday,…
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Patrick Coyne
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February 11, 2021
WARREN, Mich. — Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth…
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Ted Pillow
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January 31, 2021
WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to…
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Clara Endres
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December 22, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Highly influential emo band Crowquill reportedly split today after producing just 30 minutes of recorded music and playing…
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Nariko Ott
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December 17, 2020
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive,…
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Zac Lux
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November 29, 2020
RICHMOND, Va. — Local metalhead Kevin Miller turned the volume down on his amp from 11 to 10 earlier this…
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James Knapp
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November 25, 2020
DALEVILLE, Va. — Local metal fan Cliff Gallaway mistakenly drank an entire bottle of high-end shampoo in the shower this…
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Kaitlyn Jeffers
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November 24, 2020
NAPA, Calif. — Local woman Amanda Perez believes that, for the first time in her life, she most likely has…
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