TROLLSTIGEN, Norway — Teenage punks Xavier Martinez and Sydney Black were shocked to discover that the address of a house show would only be revealed…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Ryan Trent, a lifelong metalhead in his late 40s, is having a crisis of identity after hearing Darkthrone’s black metal scorcher “Summer…
FRENCH LICK, Ind. — Local black metal parents Suzanne and Dmitri Ubnatern are persistent in asking their 30-year-old daughter to give them grandchildren to metaphorically…
BERGEN, Norway — American black metal band Shadows Over Mirkwood embarked on a two-week tour of Norway in search of artistic inspiration and a healthcare…
LOS ANGELES — A tall, blonde-ish actor with Scandinavian roots based in Hollywood is struggling to remember which Skarsgård family member he is, according to…
OSLO, Norway — Members of the black metal band Flesheating Cadaver are reportedly entirely unaware that they have accidentally chosen a death metal name, vicariously…
BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
TAMPA, Fla. — Norwegian black metal band Emyn Arnen were seen wandering into a JCPenney store after spotting a prominent Black Friday sign in the…
SEATTLE — Perpetually single man Conner Turner ruined a promising first date last Friday when he brought up the infamous Norwegian Black Metal one-man solo…
OSLO, Norway — Local guitarist Evan “Blood Vacuum” Brulend upset his bandmates yesterday when a filtering mishap revealed his corpse paint stopped just below his…
OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight Norwegian black metal fans, despite…
TRONDHEIM, Norway — Norwegian customs officials detained U.S. black metal band VVulfblud during their Scandinavian tour for not having any weapons on their persons whatsoever,…
WETUMPKA, Ala. — Artemis Nyxx (legal name Blake Lambert), a vegan activist and vocalist of local “blackened crust” band Infinite Dvsk, took responsibility for a recent…
NORWAY/Darkmoon Faire Realm – Norwegian black metal band Umskiptar have cemented their reputation as one of the world’s most notorious modern black metal bands through…