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Embarrassing: Black Metal Band Unaware They Have Death Metal Name

OSLO, Norway — Members of the black metal band Flesheating Cadaver are reportedly entirely unaware that they have accidentally chosen a death metal name, vicariously embarrassed sources confirmed.

“I love the band. They are one of the most technically impressive black metal bands I’ve ever heard. But if I’m being honest, their name is straight-up humiliating for everyone. It’s like an emo band being called ‘The Beatdown Boys’ or something,” said Jovie Hardin, a diehard fan. “When I try to tell my black metal friends about them, I have to lead with so many caveats that it’s barely worth trying. You try explaining that Flesheating Cadaver really is a true Norwegian black metal band and not some shitty dudes from Tampa. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told, ‘go put on your cargo shorts, poser.’ God, couldn’t they have just picked a name that’s a Lord of the Rings reference or something vaguely antisemitic?”

Members of Flesheating Cadaver seem to be under the impression their name is not only appropriate for their genre, but universally beloved.

“I did come up with the name, and you’re right, I do get questions about it all the time,” said Simen Fraglelock, the band’s longtime bass player. “Questions like, how did you think of it? How come your name is so rad? Or sometimes, I even get more practical questions about it. Like, is the cadaver the one eating the flesh? Or is it more about other people eating the flesh of the cadaver? So I get it. It’s a complex and awesome name that you really need to mull over.”

Anders Shaffer, the band’s tour manager, is tired of explaining the name faux pas.

“We all know it. I just have to work around it at this point. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to apologize. And I don’t even blame these people. Can you imagine thinking you can just pick a name and steal from the rich and deep traditions of the death metal community when you have absolutely no association with the culture?” said Shaffer shaking his head. “Look, I’ve worked with plenty of black metal bands, but I’ve never seen one so culturally insensitive. Racist, sure. Like very, very racist. But so culturally unaware? Never.”

At press time, nu-metal fans on Twitter were clamoring for an apology after live photos surfaced of Flesheating Cadaver clearly wearing chain-adorned JNCO jeans.