NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — A friend group composed of progressive metal band Dream Theater fans made a pact to lose their virginities before their Social…
Okay class, may I have your attention for a moment? We know that there are some rumors going around about the school’s faculty and we…
NEW YORK — Former bully-turned-bouncer Terry Gallagher found himself fighting the urge to administer atomic wedgies to everyone at a recent They Might be Giants…
LANSING, Mich. — The coat check at the Iron Smelt Theatre was filled almost exclusively with capes during fantasy metal legends Polarian Amulet show, event…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced today that they reintroduced the American jock to the ecosystem in order to counteract what they…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local prog metal shredders Bride Of Pythagoras made an announcement this week that every member of the band would be taking a…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – Local math rock band Divisible By Nothing were taken aback after a chant of “PEMDAS” took over their recent show after their…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local single woman Maya Cook is taking technology into her own hands after having become frustrated with the amount of time she…
MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed “experimental indie” band True Friction are horrified to see that their “Related Artists” tab on Spotify is populated by pop-punk and…
NICASIO, Calif. — Longtime Star Wars fan Jon Eaton was charged with trespassing on Skywalker Ranch, allegedly hoping to ask George Lucas if the seven-and-a-half-foot-tall…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Progressive metal band Knight Vision announced they are accepting applications from medieval studies majors for a summer internship offering practical application of…
LONDON — Local steampunk Alexi Franklin was assaulted yesterday by fellow Pincham High classmate and noted steamjock Victor Gryphon, multiple witnesses confirmed. “He kept calling…