I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose his pick inside his electric…
NORFOLK, Va. — Local man and self-proclaimed “Roganite,” Connor Patterson, admits to being open to a variety of expert opinions and science facts, as long…
JIM THORPE, Penn. — Craigslist user Hampton Bellamy sold a badly damaged and completely non-functional Kustom amplifier yesterday after listing it on the website “as…
This past week we all watched as executive chef Jeff Tray was eliminated from the hit Food Network show “Chopped” after the dimwit attempted to…
WASHINGTON — The new viral bombshell “Plandemic” has revealed a simple, shocking truth: that all of your friends are dribbling, incognizant fucking morons who are…
LOS ANGELES — Right-wing political commentator Ben Shapiro used Logic and Reason to produce an EDM EP, according to a press release on the Daily…
It’s 2018, and society as a whole claims to be more progressive than ever, especially when it comes to sexual identity. But while we’ve made…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Complete moron and supposed Bad Religion superfan Rob Hooper clapped before the band even finished the song “I Want Something More,” ruining…