Shaving in a mohawk is one of the first things new punks do, along with buying a Black Flag cd and quickly learning to keep…
So the long nights of partying, getting wasted, and 2 am Taco Bell have taken a toll on your aging, squishy body. You figured it’s…
LAKEWOOD, Calif. — Aging punk Lilo Omed claimed today that the best way to keep his penis erect is not by consuming over-the-counter pills, but…
ST. LOUIS — Acquaintances of chronically fatigued punk Anthony Mafodda are reportedly perplexed by the rocker’s nocturnal habit of sheathing each individual point of his…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Teenage punk and C+ student Geoff Berger was given a second yearbook photo this week to accommodate his 18-inch high, multi-colored…
PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full torso extension of the mohawk…
ATLANTA -— Stubborn, delusional punk Drew Blaney, who has lost a third of his mohawk due to his receding hairline, will not fix his increasingly…
I can finally admit my mother was right about my clothing, political beliefs, and everything else I had used to define myself as a person…
In our nation’s current state of total buzzkill, it’s more important than ever to focus on what makes us the same rather than what makes…
KANSAS CITY – He can’t find a job, his band is falling apart, he’s worried his girlfriend is sleeping with his best friend, and now…