So the long nights of partying, getting wasted, and 2 am Taco Bell have taken a toll on your aging, squishy body. You figured it’s time to commit to a reasonable sleep routine and to take care of what’s left of your worn and tattered flesh prison. Unfortunately, health and hygiene are undeniably not punk and, as we all know, being seen as punk is a very important part of being well into your 30s. Well don’t worry, we’ve put together a guide to help you maintain that punk cred even though you now have the diet and sleep schedule of everyone you’ve ever hated.
Peacocking has become more difficult since your thinning hair left your trihawk without a middle section, so it’s time to accessorize your look. Bandanas, buttons, battle jackets, butt flaps; the more the better. Real punks, like those with parents who provide financial stability, wear more accessories than they can remember to take off at the end of a long day of punking.
Another tip to maintain punk cred while making plans to live past 40 is to embrace DIY. Not in the sense that you’re going to “do it yourself” in regards to home projects and creative endeavors. For the love of God don’t do that. We just mean the “DIY” aestetic. Seriously, you can just slap these three letters on basically anything to instantly invoke scene credibility.
Hell, the term “DIY” has been co-opted by oblivious non-punk middle-aged mommy bloggers, even if actual punks don’t buy your bullshit, you can at least feel cool in front of them. And feeling cool, after all, that’s what this is really about.