One day, after black mass, a parishioner approached the high priest with a troubled look in his eyes. “High Master Abyzou, I sometimes feel that…
LODI, N.J. — A group of neighborhood kids scattered and hid for the rest of the afternoon yesterday after their baseball accidentally smashed “crazy old…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary horror rocker and Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig is already mentally spending the annual bump in royalties he expects to receive from…
Greeting new (I hope) friend! Might I trouble you for just a moment of your time? My office is just around the corner here, come…
PHILADELPHIA — Local dog Scraps was completely unable to answer basic trivia questions yesterday about the seminal horror-punk band Misfits, despite wearing the band’s merchandise…
LODI, N.J — The Crimson Ghost, the longtime logo for the Misfits, successfully passed its algebra test last week thanks to after-school tutoring from a…
I can finally admit my mother was right about my clothing, political beliefs, and everything else I had used to define myself as a person…
Merry autumnal equinox, fuckers! That’s right, it’s finally the time of year when the leather jacket you wore all summer is actually necessary and endless…
BOSTON — Hapless rugby coach Roy Walker has molded a group of aggressive hardcore kids and their raw, unfettered mosh pit tactics into potential rugby…
Like all millennials, I love HBO’s Girls. It’s a totally authentic representation of life in Brooklyn. Well, at least the neighborhoods I feel comfortable in.…
Through his beastly bands’ countless albums, Glenn Danzig has proven himself to be one of rock’s most devilishly engaging songwriters and frontmen. But what you…
BOSTON — Popular Misfits cover band Allston Zombies announced earlier today that they will play a “one night only” show this Halloween, featuring their original…