BUFFALO, N.Y. — Aging tricenarian Colleen Myers admitted to being surprised by the sheer amount of conversations she is having about acquaintances passing when catching…
We are all getting old, and so is metal! But what is metal? That’s a great question we’re not gonna answer. While we included plenty…
We here know that you crazy rebels only like pure blackened crust punk releases from labels like Assrip! Records or Sewer Rat Recordings LLC, but…
Life is great and all, but after 30 years or so of it, a certain apathetic malaise starts to set in. The day-to-day grind starts…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard husk of a body could…
Yo dawg, what’s the 411 with the shorties these days? I was just rolling with the homies and spittin’ mad ‘90s slang and these Gen-Z…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A new episode of the hit HGTV series “House Hunters” is being applauded for its realism after a millennial couple on the…
AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties depends solely on which of…
MADISON, Wis. — Local screen printer Peter Taylor admitted he could really use the $10 check his grandmother would send him every Christmas until her…
SOUTHBRIDGE, Mass.–Newly 40-year-old man Gregory Chaudhari is experiencing a new type of mid-life crisis like many others his age–the inability to afford one. “In my…
Old age comes for all skaters. Knees weak from jumping down the four block at the local park, tired livers from drinking Modelos every night…
LAS VEGAS — Increasing demand for Ibuprofen following When We Were Young 2, a festival targeting millennials who desperately want to relive their best years,…
CHICAGO — Thirty-eight-year-old millennial and grocery store manager Tyler Bretlin was shocked to vividly re-experience the iconic opening credits scene of the early 2000s teen…
Ah, the 2000s. A simpler time, when a thousand weird mp3 blogs all named “Melted Acetate Owl” or something were a thing. Climate change and…
DES MOINES, Iowa — All 65 million members of Generation X around the country celebrated after finally realizing their goal of becoming invisible to the…