The year was 1985. Testicular torsion continued to affect men everywhere without many people understanding what was wrong. Suddenly, one day while recording in the…
RICHMOND, Va. — Several medical reports released early this morning state that any and all injuries sustained after the age of 25 will be with…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
LAREDO, Texas — Punk drummer Marcus Flannery shocked the medical and music worlds by giving birth not to triplets as expected, but rather two dotted…
THORNVILLE, Ohio — Local Juggalo Andreas “Wicked Kush” Fleming is ignoring all CDC recommendations while attending this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos and choosing to…
What the hell are you talking about?! My self-care cannot be self-harm. That would be impossible. Nobody cares more about me than me. Look, you…
Umm, actually, no, you can’t kick me out of this Wawa. My doctor said I can be in here. This note right here makes me…
QUINCY, Mass. — Local man and self-described introvert Blake Crowley became an adamant anti-vaccine activist in a desperate attempt to avoid being forced to attend…
ST. LOUIS — Local man who is living with functional depression, Dan Sousa, surprised exactly no one after it was learned that he can’t even…
NEW YORK — Legendary musician Sting is celebrating today the second anniversary of a full-body spiritual orgasm that began during a 2017 tantric session with…
PHOENIX — The lead guitar tech at Kerry King Guitar Clinic attempted an experimental procedure last night to separate local musician Kurt Carstens’ conjoined guitars,…