EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Recording artist Mitski announced today that her merchandise will now be available for sale at mental health clinics across the country, klonopin…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local death metal enthusiast Cooper Dempsey realized that the lyrics to Cannibal Corpse’s 1994 classic “Fucked With a Knife” might be a…
WESTERVILLE, Ohio — Struggling Democratic contender Beto O’Rourke wrote several popular lyrics by alternative/metal band 311 on the palm of his hand today just before…
Dozens of songs were reportedly released between June of 2000 and April of 2007 but thanks to multiple concussions, the only one I really remember…
DETROIT — Democratic presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke was spotted making last minute preparations for the second debate by referencing old punk lyrics hoping to find…
BALTIMORE — Local karaoke enthusiasts were shocked last night to learn that the words to Cosmic Dinosaur’s hit single “Let’s Stop Going” were significantly worse…
MILLWOOD, Wash. — Residents of Millwood, Wash. are reportedly confused by local pop-punk band Pacific Standard, with citizens collectively wondering what they ever did to…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A new biography titled Coming All Over the Country, chronicling the life of frontman Ollie Campbell of Ollie Campbell and the…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man Dan Traver warned friends this morning that his roommate Will Fu’s tweeting of various Elliott Smith lyrics will likely “…turn…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Pop-punk frontman and legal adult Brandon DeMarco combed through his teen girlfriend’s diary last night for inspiration, in a desperate attempt to…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
BOSTON — Local woman Anne Deloach is certain the first track from her ex-boyfriend’s latest EP is about her, despite his forgetting her almost immediately…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Recently single 31-year-old Alexander Harwood is reportedly longing today for the era in which grief and sorrow was solely expressed through away…
GREEN BAY, Wisc. — BurntBridge singer and lyricist Zach Maron confirmed today that his song “Katie, in the Green Hoodie” is, in fact, absolutely not…