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“Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining”? 10 Times Stevie Nicks Was Dead Wrong About Science

Stevie Nicks is unquestionably one of the greatest pop songwriters of all time. Unfortunately for her fans, she’s long made a career out of a complete disregard for scientific accuracy, and blood is on her hands. Here are ten times she was DEAD wrong about science:

“Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining”  – Dreams

Bzzt. Nope. Stevie Nicks, aspiring meteorologist, needs to head back to class. because thunder can absolutely occur without rain during an appropriately named phenomenon known as a ‘dry thunderstorm,’ which transpire when the vast majority of precipitation evaporates before it hits the ground. Nicks is full of shit here.

“Maybe We are Together in a Parallel Universe” – Destiny Rules

Maybe there’s a universe where Nicks doesn’t spout off about a theory that can be neither disproven or proven, despite its recent popularization in comic book movies. I personally hope there are infinite universes, because there should be one where this liar faces justice for her scientific illiteracy.

“When You Hang Up that Phone, Well you Cease to Exist” – Welcome to the Room…Sarah

Literal babies develop object permanence at eight months of age. Jesus christ.

“If I Live to See the Seven Wonders, I’ll Make a Path to the Rainbow’s End.” – Seven Wonders

The only wonder here is me, wondering where the hell Nicks gets off sprouting the schoolyard canard that a rainbow has a physical end one can locate on the ground. Obvious bullshit.

“And a Black Widow spider Makes More Sound than She” – Sisters of the Moon

While some spiders can make a hissing or purring noise, the black widow spider (an overly broad, frankly amateur-level term that could refer to as many as 34 different species in the family Theridiidae) is not one of them. Therefore it makes no sound, thus it is not louder than a living human’s heartbeat. Eat shit, liar.

“Blue-gray eyes… They Change with the Color…Change with the Sun.” – Blue Denim

Incorrect! The notion that eyes can change color in response to natural events, while possibly romantic to naive virgins, is utter hogwash.  Save it for the Twilight fan fiction, Stevie.

“Time Makes You Bolder” – Landslide

Fact check: fuck no. A recent study of the fear response in rats suggests that the development of the prefrontal cortex makes older individuals slower to “clear” fear from the mind and more aware of the risks associated with actions. Time may have made Ms. Nicks bolder, but if so, she’s an outlier using said boldness to spread absolute nonsense.

“She Rules Her Life like a Fine Skylark” – Rhiannon

Sigh. A Skylark refers to the Alauda genus of birds, of which there are four extant species,  mostly critically endangered weaklings far from the top of any food chain. Stevie’s idiotic claim further falls apart in the face of common sense, for all creatures live at the cruel mercy of nature, thus none–even the mighty White-winged lark–can be said to truly “rule” their life.

“Lightning Strikes, Maybe Once, Maybe Twice” – Gypsy

Yeah, no. There are 8.6 million lightning strikes worldwide, every single day. People need to be aware of the danger, and while we can’t begin to understand Ms. Nick’s sick fascination with meteorological disinformation, she is doing her listeners a great disservice. Her continued uninformed pontificating has certainly gotten people killed. She has blood on her hands.

“Just Like the White Winged Dove. Sings a Song. Sounds like She’s Singin’ Whoo-whoo-whoo” – Edge of Seventeen

Google that shit and tell me that’s what a dove sounds like. If she had any ornithological or onomatopoeic credibility, Nicks would have had the guts to simply sample the dove’s cry directly on the track rather than describe it in such childishly inaccurate terms. Cows don’t say “moo”, either, fuckface.