GRESHAM, Ore. — Local friendless reject Dennis Hagar is looking to give away an extra ticket to tonight’s Classless Few show to anyone willing to…
LINKÖPING, Sweden — Confused audience members were shocked at a recent Forest Floor show when the band, dressed in matching cloaks and heavy eyeshadow, began…
CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — Hopeless romantic Stevie Knightson recently imploded his entire social life by profusely expressing his longtime admiration for pal Irene Debcott, ashamed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Brian Hedges figured he’s still got a good 10 years to continually disappoint his parents with his life choices, his friends,…
SAN DIEGO — Local breadwinner and career bassist Clarissa Khatri announced a leave of absence from his day job after being forced to work through…
NORFOLK — A recent report found that copies of the photo zine, Put It All On Red, are still available despite initial claims 18 months…
This is getting ridiculous. When I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I thought it would be a cool bunch of people swapping stories about…
WASHINGTON — The American Psychiatric Association at its annual conference announced it added “poser” to the latest update of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of…
Congrats to the Southport High School graduating class of 2005! Remember how you all wrote “Never change!” in the yearbook of class punk, Jimmy “Upper…
GLEN BURNIE, Md. — Local punk Cris Martinson was recently honored by Forbes Magazine in their annual “30 People over 30 Who Need to Get…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans that was recently excavated from…
Hey, pothead! That’s right you lazy stoner. So you failed to launch? Big fucking deal. You’re back with your folks and spending all your time…
DENVER — Local woman Caitlin Baker recently celebrated her fully vaccinated status by dropping her dating standards to an all-time low, concerned friends and family…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A limited-capacity show yesterday evening drew a crowd twice as large as local band Jolly Bean Chili Greens has ever seen in…
Engagement Announcement Overshadowed by More Popular Couple Adopting Dog
SEATTLE — Newly engaged couple Daryl Stein and Hannah West are absolutely livid that their celebratory post got significantly less likes than their friend’s post…