CHICAGO — Local underdog and scrappy up-and-comer Luis Pollard could more accurately be described as a dud and a loser to anyone who has ever…
WARREN, N.J. — Local punk drummer Brad “The Worm” Jones reportedly advocates for wealth redistribution and violence against the rich with the exception of current…
WINNETKA, Ill. — New Trier High School bully from the class of 1997, Al Edwin, is amazed at what losers and lame motherfuckers can get…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
SAINT LOUIS — Local Guitar Center sales associate Frank Helms stunned colleagues after discovering you in the Fender section of the store and announcing that…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Local man Jeremy Collins’ recent trip to the beach became an impromptu moment of self-discovery and reflection while sitting down to…
We all know life is full of little annoyances that only exist to make things a little more difficult. Not that it matters anyway –…
CANAL WINCHESTER, Ohio — Local man Evan Taylor found himself the unwitting winner of his friend’s ugly Christmas sweater party after wearing a horrendously tacky…
GRESHAM, Ore. — Local friendless reject Dennis Hagar is looking to give away an extra ticket to tonight’s Classless Few show to anyone willing to…
LINKÖPING, Sweden — Confused audience members were shocked at a recent Forest Floor show when the band, dressed in matching cloaks and heavy eyeshadow, began…
CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — Hopeless romantic Stevie Knightson recently imploded his entire social life by profusely expressing his longtime admiration for pal Irene Debcott, ashamed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Brian Hedges figured he’s still got a good 10 years to continually disappoint his parents with his life choices, his friends,…
SAN DIEGO — Local breadwinner and career bassist Clarissa Khatri announced a leave of absence from his day job after being forced to work through…
NORFOLK — A recent report found that copies of the photo zine, Put It All On Red, are still available despite initial claims 18 months…
Engagement Announcement Overshadowed by More Popular Couple Adopting Dog
SEATTLE — Newly engaged couple Daryl Stein and Hannah West are absolutely livid that their celebratory post got significantly less likes than their friend’s post…