WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles that appeared overnight, multiple anonymous…
NEW YORK — Following a controversial opinion piece wherein columnist Joseph Epstein beseeched Jill Biden to drop the “doctor” title from her name due to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing him in under “president” on…
CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since the early/mid-2000s: What defines “real”…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence is looking forward to debating Kamala Harris’ husband, Douglas Emhoff, on key issues impacting American heads-of-household and their wives…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential frontrunner Joe Biden and his staffers were surprised by the results of a recent COVID-19 test that found that he…
RIVERTON, Wyo. — Avid Mass Effect fan Martin Shore plans to opt out of voting in the upcoming 2020 presidential election, citing skepticism that his…
WASHINGTON — Republican Party sources claimed today that they are in possession of a potentially damning episode of “Room Raiders” featuring Democratic Presidential candidate Joe…
WASHINGTON — Notable Alzheimer’s awareness organization Sundown Movement officially endorsed former Vice President and Democratic nominee Joe Biden this morning, stating the candidate “exemplifies their…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Senator Bernie Sanders has reportedly received a mysterious white letter with a red seal less than a day after announcing he was…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced today that he will put all of his unsold merchandise for sale on his Bandcamp following his…
Bernie Sanders officially ended his bid for the White House today, ceding the Democratic nomination to former Vice President Joe Biden. Many have been calling…
PHILADELPHIA — Outspoken supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, known as “Biden Bros,” are reportedly harassing potential voters via handwritten letters sent through the…
WASHINGTON — Members of the Democratic National Committee expressed frustration about the annoying escort mission to get former vice president Joe Biden into the White…
AKRON, Ohio — Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden announced a new initiative today during a campaign stop at a tire manufacturing plant, promising to “wipe…