EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular patrons of his place of…
So you’re unemployed for the holidays. Bummer. You might be starting to wonder how you’re going to afford Christmas gifts this year. I mean, you…
What do we know about Jello Biafra? We know he once ran for mayor of San Francisco and that his voice is the tonal equivalent…
GLENDALE, Ariz. — Tech death metal and former deathcore darlings Job for a Cowboy explained the sexual implications of their name once and for all,…
KANSAS CITY, Mo.— Local man Zane Starzyk is beside himself with stress and frustration after taking a mental health day that completely fucked up the…
PHILADELPHIA – Local Burnout John Parker admitted he wasn’t surprised to receive an exclusive text from his dad today offering a job that he should…
WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he only really keeps because of…
Capitalism has been around for at least as long as I’ve been alive, so it’s safe to say it’s here to stay. Since we’re stuck…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk and office employee Devon Smith successfully hid his tattoos at work by carrying around a huge Boston fern everywhere he goes…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Wynn Hall updated their resume yesterday evening to include “selling plasma” following a long history of selling their own bodily…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Nick Takanaka, the resident lighting technician at The Corner, is reportedly nearing his breaking point after being constantly mistaken for the venue’s…
Navigating the line between being a “#girlboss” and being a “regular human being who is there for the people in your life” can be difficult,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Chris Jones was left reeling after realizing that he had no clue as to what his best friend of 25…