James Knapp
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What do we know about Jello Biafra? We know he once ran for mayor of San Francisco and that his…
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Freelancer
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GLENDALE, Ariz. — Tech death metal and former deathcore darlings Job for a Cowboy explained the sexual implications of their…
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KANSAS CITY, Mo.— Local man Zane Starzyk is beside himself with stress and frustration after taking a mental health day…
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Ryan Sims
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PHILADELPHIA – Local Burnout John Parker admitted he wasn’t surprised to receive an exclusive text from his dad today offering…
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John Danek
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WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of…
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Dan Kozuh
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he…
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Bobby Korec
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Capitalism has been around for at least as long as I’ve been alive, so it’s safe to say it’s here…
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk and office employee Devon Smith successfully hid his tattoos at work by carrying around a huge…
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Doug Kolic
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TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the…
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Harley Murgatroyd
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Wynn Hall updated their resume yesterday evening to include “selling plasma” following a long history…
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