Krissy Howard
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BEND, Ore. — Alleged “biracial poser” and local punk Liz Watson disappointed white stranger Dana Fields yesterday by inadequately naming…
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SEATTLE — Real estate giant Zillow announced a new “punk” setting today for users that will allow potential home buyers…
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Nathan Kamal
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ATLANTA — Local man Chris Mitchell reportedly is only willing to vote for a candidate who will immediately restrict, hinder…
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A. Cabbot
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WASHINGTON — Jerkhole bassist Alex Miller finally overcame his anxiety yesterday to ask why his bass guitar includes two extra…
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Patrick Crooks
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous…
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Ben Friedman
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RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another…
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Ted Pillow
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KINGS PARK, N.Y. — 41-year-old Pantera megafan Ray “Nickelbag” Shipley is still enrolled in 11th grade at Kings Park High…
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Rob Steinberg
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HOLLYWOOD — “Animaniacs” star Yakko Warner has refused to acknowledge the existence of Israel in an updated version of the…
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Dan Kozuh
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this…
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Ryan Danley
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BOSTON — Recently deceased grandmother Anita Reilly’s bereaved found yesterday a trove of family recipes, including one for a beloved,…
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