PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this to be a good score…
BOSTON — Recently deceased grandmother Anita Reilly’s bereaved found yesterday a trove of family recipes, including one for a beloved, secret family soup that was…
SEWARD, Neb. — A far-right militia completely failed in their mission to remain vigilant on election day after the entire group became hopelessly lost in…
CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils” in the upcoming presidential election,…
MILWAUKEE — White Milwaukee Police Officer Anthony Salatino used the n-word without reservation last night before, during, and after a karaoke performance of a song…
LOS ANGELES – Indie pop band Sour Bitch Kids learned this morning that the hours they spent practicing their songs with ever decreasing volume were…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except for women and country music,…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Body positivity advocate and campaign spokesperson Brianna Martin openly worried today that the movement may have to include white people with dreadlocks…
Well, it happened. My girlfriend shaved both sides of her head which I assume makes us, and therefore me, bisexual. I’m no expert on modern…