MINNEAPOLIS — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended not attending a local house show tonight to limit the spread of Fighting in the…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
PHILADELPHIA — A house show headlined by local shoe gaze group No Holes Barry reached new and dismal lows of attendance this past weekend, reportedly…
EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — After eating a quiet, solitary meal of Trader Joe’s frozen artichoke dip earlier this evening, 23-year-old graduate student Sarah Goldman returned…
EUGENE, Ore. — Perpetually inconsiderate roommate Michael Chabot was thrilled yesterday to discover a giant pile of garbage in his shared kitchen, knowing he finally…
NUTLEY, W.V. — A small-town Waffle House has been recognized as the only space the local punk scene can claim as a venue, despite its…
BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski earned a tidy sum of $523 last week after nearly two dozen tourists mistook her dark and foreboding…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled still has yet to begin,…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local dog and punk house resident Haley stared hopefully at the side of a stage last night after touring band Rage Party finished…
HARTFORD, Conn. — The world-renowned Smithson Symphony Orchestra asked their audience at the Hartford Opera House last night if anyone could offer them a place…
CHICAGO — Local man Tom Bencin, who recently spent $35 on a Pussyslaughter T-shirt that reads “#1 PUSSY MURDERER” in giant letters, has not yet…
TACOMA, Wash. — The residents of the “Scab Lab” crust punk house were evacuated last night in response to an anonymous bath bomb threat, according…
BALTIMORE — Infamous punk house “Crazz Manor” in Baltimore’s Waverly neighborhood was upgraded yesterday from a punk house to a crack house, drawing mixed reactions…