Edgar Towner, Author at HARDTIMES

December 14, 2020

DENVER — Family court officials today ordered office worker Tynan Howard to surrender his beautiful house, large automobile, and other…

February 2, 2020

Football season is drawing to an end, and millions of Americans are gathering around the tube to catch the big…

November 25, 2019

BEIJING — Chinese punks were astonished today after their government officially repealed the long-standing policy of penalizing citizens who play…

November 20, 2019

SALIDA, Colo. — Grassroots activist organization Punks for Sustainable Merch announced yesterday the opening of a nature refuge to prevent…

November 19, 2019

DENVER — Local high schooler Jake Fritzler astounded his teachers today by scoring 1050 on the SAT despite entering nothing…

November 18, 2019

DENVER — Local man Joseph Adams stands accused today of making jokes about his friend Aaron Ianni much too soon…

November 5, 2019

Winter has come, the bells have tolled, and now our watch has ended. Game of Thrones, the fantasy juggernaut that…

October 28, 2019

I get it. You see the corpse paint, the inverted crosses, the sheep’s heads skewered on mic stands, and you…

October 23, 2019

DENVER — Local harsh noise artist Jeremy Phillips halted progress on his upcoming EP today when he couldn’t determine which…

October 12, 2019

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new study suggests that the average punk unknowingly has sex with five people who go…

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