Edgar Towner, Author at HARDTIMES

I Don’t Have a Straight Edge Problem, I Can Start Drinking Whenever I Want

December 19, 2017

First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m…

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Man in Line for Blade Runner 2049 Already Prefers Director’s Cut

October 5, 2017

DENVER — Self-proclaimed film buff Logan Dwyer announced that the theatrical release of Blade Runner 2049 is inferior to the…

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New America’s Army Drone Warfare Expansion Features Suspiciously Lifelike Graphics

August 15, 2017

SAN DIEGO, Cali. — Aerial Domination, the new drone-themed expansion pack for the Army-sponsored military shooter America’s Army, has earned…

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Local Creep Way Too Supportive of Lesbian Lifestyle

August 13, 2017

DENVER — Semi-professional photographer Dennis Bachmann stands accused this morning of overenthusiastically supporting same-sex female relationships, according to multiple creeped…

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I Don’t Have a Straight Edge Problem, I Can Start Drinking Whenever I Want

Man in Line for Blade Runner 2049 Already Prefers Director’s Cut

New America’s Army Drone Warfare Expansion Features Suspiciously Lifelike Graphics

Local Creep Way Too Supportive of Lesbian Lifestyle

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