Press "Enter" to skip to content

Report: Still Too Soon to Joke About Friend’s Death, Apparently

DENVER — Local man Joseph Adams stands accused today of making jokes about his friend Aaron Ianni much too soon after the latter’s untimely death, disgusted acquaintances report.

“Ah, come on,” Adams said following his expulsion from the dinner party where he made the questionable comments. “They were just jokes! Everybody’s being way too sensitive. You know what they say: laughter has healing properties. Aaron knew that better than anyone, so he would’ve laughed his ass off if he heard that shit I said about his lymphoma. Everybody has their own way of grieving, and people should respect mine — if that means not pitching a fit when I riff about chemo being the only diet plan Aaron could ever stick to, so be it. This is my self-care, motherfuckers.”

Despite Adams’s protestations, Ianni’s other mourners seemingly ran out of patience for Adams’ habitually awkward timing.

“Sometimes Joseph’s line-toeing thing is cute, but this was beyond the pale,” said fellow dinner guest Sarah Valenzuela. “He’s always been like this: my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, and not even a week later, Joseph sent her a pair of novelty rubber breasts with a card that read, ‘Wishing you the BREAST of health — keep a stiff upper NIP.’ What kind of psycho does that? It’s the same thing here: there will be a time to laugh about Aaron, but holy shit, he only died six days ago.”

While Adams’s ill-timed wisecracks scandalized his associates, psychologists assert that this behavior is not uncommon during times of stress.

“There’s no such thing as an ideal reaction to grief,” said trauma researcher Dr. Patrick Follon. “Everyone mourns differently, and humor can be a perfectly healthy response. Laughter can ease the physical and psychological effects of grief, and many comedians use humor to turn their pain into healing. Of course, these comedians generally waited longer than a few days before starting with the gallows humor — you know, because they aren’t emotionally-stunted assholes like Joseph. Seriously, what the fuck is this guy’s problem?”

At press time, Adams was seen asking his remaining friends which colorful novelty tie he should wear to Ianni’s memorial service.