HAGERSTOWN, Md. — Local millennial Cassie Dunbar recently reached the very last Zillow listing and immediately pivoted to scrolling through out-of-network doctors, sources desperate to…
Hurray! You’ve finally saved enough money working your shitty nine-to-five and numerous side hustles to afford a house. Your dad always said you were a…
ROHNERT PARK, Calif. — Homeowner Ben Founier admits he’s losing patience with fans who attempt to recreate Ceremony’s famous cover shot outside his house, according…
MONTEREY, Calif. — Recently retired father Fred Maligno has set up a 360-degree investigation into the car that mysteriously appeared parked in front of his…
NEW YORK — Republican Representative-elect George Santos is facing more scrutiny about his personal life after overwhelming evidence began to pile up refuting his claims…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Local contractor Sidney Laird did the impossible by constructing the very first all basement house in existence, astonished sources confirmed. “Basements have…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. – Local goth Sarah Lashley is rejecting modern bedding options and instead chooses to sleep in a casket resting on the floor, confirmed…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Rick Anderson remains ignorant to the fact that the generous beer donations he makes to his neighbors’ basement shows…
TRENTON, N.J. — A local couple in their mid-30s did the unthinkable by finally saving enough money to buy the entire “House” series box set…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
HOUSTON — Local punk Colin “Colonic” Birch continues to refer to his parents’ guest house, a two-bedroom A-frame with pool access where he has lived…
I’ve worked hard to provide a good life for my family. Forty years of blood, sweat, and tears were poured on that factory floor so…
CLEVELAND — A group of disgruntled, shoeless punks met each other’s empty gazes in a foyer as they attempted to find their own black leather…