So I knew this total jagoff Kevin Kergis, who everyone was absolutely certain peaked in high school. Unfortunately, he’s been having a real renaissance in…
BUHL, Idaho — A book report on epic 1851 novel “Moby-Dick” by 10th grader Nick Henderson had clearly been written after having only listened to…
EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local hardcore kid Jackson Gattis is reportedly the most athletic student at his school despite his complete lack of participation in gym…
NEW YORK — Random House Children’s Books official reissue of the long-dismissed 1991 Dr. Seuss manuscript “Oh, The Ways You’re Fucked!” is quickly becoming the…
SIMSBURY, Conn. — Local straight edge high schoolers recently stated that their commitment to living a drug- and alcohol-free lifestyle will have no effect on…
ABILENE, Texas — Local school sports fan Steven Flick will no longer offer his support if there’s a chance he could accidentally ogle a trans…
SAN ANTONIO — Local metalhead Spencer Leggieri is reportedly being scouted by multiple pizza shops across the city in hopes of securing his talent as…
ST. LOUIS — Local Rush fan and high school senior Micah Kirby spent the entirety of the make out game Seven Minutes in Heaven playing…
You’re home for the holidays! Though your parents would cut off a limb to spend any amount of quality time with you, the first thing…
Remember the good ol’ days of the early 2000s, when we were blissfully ignorant of social media and the internet was barely out of its…
BOSTON – Local bully Veronica Coughlin, who took immense joy in calling classmates homophobic slurs in high school, is reportedly so excited to see Chappell…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Blake Crawford was reportedly heartbroken while attending his 20-year high school reunion after coming to the realization that the once…
LOWELL, Mass. — Mercy High School punk Theo “Gerbil” Barnes unwittingly eschewed prom tradition when he pinned a corsage through his date Julee Santoro’s nose…
Kids these days, what’s up with them? Seriously, we have no idea what the hell is going on with Gen Alpha and they are terrifying,…
2004 was a dry year for big-name punk releases. With the start of the Iraq War in 2003, every respectable punk band shoved an album…