Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places…
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Tag: hardcore
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Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes
•
Aries (March 21 - April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places…
Read More →
Bono Teams Up with Elon Musk to Create First Self-Praising Car
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LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and…
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Iron Maiden Shirt Wondering What It’s Doing at Urban Outfitters
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AUSTIN, Texas — A local Iron Maiden T-shirt came to the sudden realization yesterday, to its horror and disgust, that…
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Documentary About ‘Fortunate Son’ to Feature Vietnam War
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BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A new documentary chronicling the creation of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song “Fortunate Son” will feature a…
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UberPOOL Driver Unaware He’s About to Drive Last Leg of Tour
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ATLANTA — UberPOOL driver Christian Domingo was blindsided Thursday when he unwittingly became the driver for the last leg of…
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Surprisingly Cool Landlord Willing To Be Paid In Experience
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Recent transplant and aspiring landlord Jenny Holmes is “surprisingly cool,” according to her first tenants, as she…
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Punk Algorithm Tells You What’s Not Trending
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COCKEYSVILLE, Md. — Computer scientists have successfully created a new algorithm for punks, elitists, and adherents to all things “alt”…
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Man Will Just Have to Find Some Other Reason to Hate Extremely Accommodating Vegan
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BALTIMORE — Barbecue attendee James Duffy was disappointed to learn this afternoon that vegan host Terry Russo provided meat options…
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Relocated Punk Still Getting the Hang of Hating New Town
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SEATTLE — Recently relocated musician Nadine Oliver is still finding her way hating the city chosen last month as her…
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