Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Keep your cool this week, Aries. Temper tantrums are like rocks in rochambeau —…
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Tag: hardcore
7064 stories found
Band Headlining Basement Show Huddles Behind Dryer Before Returning for Encore
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Touring punk band Ghost Manor ended their headlining set at a basement show last night by…
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Gravel Voted Most Unforgiving Surface by Drunks Leaving Concerts
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Gravel took home the honors last night for the most damaging and uncomfortable surface to drunkenly…
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Everyone In Car Assumes Lead Part In Taking Back Sunday Singalong
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BOISE, Idaho — A car full of emo fans nearly devolved into chaos early yesterday morning as all five passengers…
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Bartender Texts Ex-Girlfriend “U Up?” Monday at Like 3 P.M.
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NEW YORK — Bartender Chad Gallo reached out to ex-girlfriend Ashley Thomas last Monday with a text reading “U up?”…
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Pop-Punk Band’s New Album a Major Step Forward Musically and Lyrically, Reports Furious Fan
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CHESTERBROOK, Penn. — The latest album from pop-punk band Cap’n Crush is an “astonishing musical and lyrical progression” and sets…
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Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Not a great week for confrontation, Aries. Yes, you’ll definitely regret dropping $150 on…
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Independent Researcher Discovers Over 80 Stormy Daniels Sex Tapes
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TAMPA, Fla. — Independent researcher Spencer Griffith uncovered a “bombshell” yesterday in the continuing Stormy Daniels-Donald Trump story, discovering over…
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Sammy Hagar Discovers Theoretical Second Way to Rock
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SALINAS, Calif. — Former Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar has discovered a theoretical, second way to rock, following years of…
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Bad Pet Owner Running Out of Skin for Memorial Tattoos
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DERRY, Maine — Local punk Liberty Van Zandt is running out of blank skin for commemorating her dead pets, and…
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