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Band Headlining Basement Show Huddles Behind Dryer Before Returning for Encore

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Touring punk band Ghost Manor ended their headlining set at a basement show last night by exiting stage left and cramming themselves into a corner behind the washing machine and dryer in apparent anticipation of an encore, sources confirmed.

“Unfortunately, this basement doesn’t have a green room, so the best they could do to stay out of sight is try to hide in the darkness by the utility sink,” said tour manager/merch guy Doug Wheeler. “I think nobody called for an encore because everyone could still see them — they were standing perfectly still in complete silence, which was really off-putting, to be honest.”

Multiple attendees confirmed that, after what appeared to be their last song, the band abruptly headed to the corner, packing in as closely as possible in an effort not to be seen.

“They were honestly pretty good,” said venue regular Alexis Hoffman. “But instead of breaking down their stuff and leaving, they all just went over to the darkest corner of the room and stood there like sweaty statues. A few of us went over to them and asked what they were doing, or if they needed help, but they wouldn’t answer. I was going to buy one of their shirts, but decided against it.”

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Meanwhile, others confirmed the band remained stuffed into the corner of the basement well after the crowd left — with several members standing in a cat’s litter box.

“After everyone left and I finished cleaning up, I saw that the guys were still in the corner and I got a little scared,” said homeowner Maggie de la Hoya. “I thought they were already in their van heading to Chicago. I asked them if they needed a place to crash for the night and got no response, so I just shut the lights off and went upstairs.”

At press time, Ghost Manor frontman Zach Hoyer was heard whispering, “Let ’em wait a little longer,” to bandmates underneath a blanket he’d taken from the dryer.

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