Press "Enter" to skip to content

Surprisingly Cool Landlord Willing To Be Paid In Experience

PORTLAND, Ore. — Recent transplant and aspiring landlord Jenny Holmes is “surprisingly cool,” according to her first tenants, as she is allegedly willing to be paid in experience in lieu of rent.

“I’m new to the city and trying to break into the real estate scene, so I’m totally willing to pay my dues, man,” the up-and-coming landlord said. “I mean, I just want to get myself out there and find a community of cool tenants, you know?”

Holmes’ dreams of becoming a professional landlord reportedly began as a teen.

“I’ve been following a lot of established landlords on Insta and Zillow and Twitter since, like, forever,” she said. “Sure, everybody wants to be a Donna Esposito or a Rick Williams, but before they became the landlords we know them as today, they were nobodies, just like me. I know I gotta put in the work.”

Holmes landed her first gig as a landlord for local punk band Trash Can’t — all of whom have been paid handsomely in experience themselves.

“I just graduated last summer, and I’ve already landed a decent gig as an intern at a design firm in the Pearl District,” explained Trash Can’t drummer and Holmes’ tenant Kim Burton. “40 hours a week of cold, hard, genuine experience. They’ve told me that if I do well, they’d even be willing to offer me some exposure for my work — which I’m totally down to extend to Jenny. Especially when those sweet ‘links to published work’ start rolling in.”

Related:

While working to attain credibility as a professional landlord, Holmes has been living in the finished basement of her elderly uncle, Mitch Benitez, in an effort to save money.

“I’m proud of her, following her dreams and all,” Benitez said. “Millennials need more initiative, and the fact that she’s after that Experience or Bitcoin or whatever slang this generation has for money is, then I’m happy to support her early endeavors.”

Holmes was last seen actively searching for a second property to rent out — the first and last month’s rent of which she’s willing to give up for a reasonable amount of “likes, shares, and follows.”

Want to support Hard Times? Buy a shirt. We’ll use the money to write more articles.