DALLAS — Local freshman Sammy Clifton, the sousaphonist in the Rosethorn High School marching band, reportedly now has more road experience than struggling punk band…
UNDISCLOSED — A secret job opening for an entry level position in the Illuminati posted today requires a minimum of 3-5 years prior experience working…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Recent transplant and aspiring landlord Jenny Holmes is “surprisingly cool,” according to her first tenants, as she is allegedly willing to be…
DENVER — Colorado jam band Nebular Pollywogs released Galaxy of Koi last week, a studio album that fully captures their live show experience and has…
LOS ANGELES — The popular streaming service Hulu engaged customer Amy Klein in a “bizarre, masochistic torture ritual” earlier this week, forcing her to choose her…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk band Eleanor Rugby are now able to perform spin attacks and wear upgraded armor following a show in which they were…
