Dan Kozuh
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SPRINGVILLE, Ind. — Authorities patrolling the annual Gathering of the Juggalos decided to make no attempts last night to reunite…
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Patrick Coyne
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WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Undercover journalist Teddy Eckart just needs to spend another two or three years investigating a lascivius and…
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Anthony Kelly
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PORTLAND, Ore. — 28-year-old chronic insomniac Griffin Harper finally got some good sleep last night after a single paragraph of…
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Nick Ortolani
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SPRINGVILLE, Ind. — Orthodox Juggalo Raymond Klotz anointed his whole body with makeup in anticipation of his yearly pilgrimage to…
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ABINGTON, Mass. — Local birthday girl and outspoken anti-capitalist Beth Crowley received no birthday gifts for the third year in…
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Patrick Coyne
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Time to turn those frowns upside down my little worker bees, because THERE IS A DOG IN THE OFFICE TODAY!!!!…
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Tim Nash
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CHICAGO — A federal judge ruled Monday afternoon that all emo kids who were profoundly affected in some way by…
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Krissy Howard
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NETTIE, W. Va. — Over 25 percent of a local grandma’s Facebook friends list is comprised of women her youngest…
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John Danek
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NEW YORK — Freshman Chazz Baldwin utterly ruined a Juilliard dorm party last night with an impromptu, solo oboe rendition…
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DETROIT — Diehard Beto O’Rourke fan Graham Mykins caused a commotion at the second Democratic debate when he rushed the…
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