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Punk Rushes Debate Stage to Grab Beto’s Setlist

DETROIT — Diehard Beto O’Rourke fan Graham Mykins caused a commotion at the second Democratic debate when he rushed the platform in an attempt to obtain the setlist of the former congressman, sources close to the venue report.

“I see dudes like this all the time at these shows, so I wasn’t surprised,” recalled Sean ‘Diesel’ Futch, head of security for the Fox Theatre. “A guy like Beto has a huge punk following, so we were prepared for some rowdy shit. We made sure to have some extra guys working tonight, and set up some metal barriers just to handle Beto’s crowds.”

O’Rourke’s setlist featured a surprising mix of his more well-known hits, like “Immigration,” “Voting Rights” as well as lesser-known tracks like “Talk in Spanish,” and “Shout Out 2 Trans People” which according to event staff, “drove the crowd fuckin’ crazy.” Throughout the evening, reports of crowd surfing and moshing were said to take place during O’Rourke’s brief time speaking.

“More often than not, Representative O’Rourke presents himself as a direct but relatable leader, someone that Americans can trust guiding the country,” explained O’Rourke Press Secretary Aleigha Cavalier. “But Jesus, Detroit fans had Beto in rare form. I’ve seen him play great rooms before, but he was really feeling this crowd. We’ll for sure be back. These motherfuckers are nuts.”

Though Mykins was eventually caught and thrown from the stage by security, he did manage to hang onto the piece of crinkled printer paper, formerly duct taped to the base of O’Rourke’s podium.

“I’ve been following Beto for the last couple of years, but I have never been a big enough donor to his campaign to get close enough to grab some memorabilia,” reported Mykins, from a first aid tent outside the performance space. “I didn’t think anything was gonna beat his speech in El Paso in March, but he fucking destroyed tonight. I needed something to remember this night. Totally worth a couple bruised ribs from getting tackled off stage.”

As of press time O’Rourke was rumored to be at a local bar shortly after the debates, playing a stripped down version of his earlier set, as well as some covers of Barack Obama and The Mars Volta.

Photo by Gage Skidmore.