NEW HAVEN, Conn. — 26-year-old Marcus Quinn, giving the appearance of a normal Millennial man on the surface, is completely incapable of expressing emojis, confirmed…
LOS ANGELES — Surgeons at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center completed an experimental procedure this morning, adding extra ribs to Morrissey’s aging body to prevent him…
HUNTINGTON, N.Y. — Members of the Colombo family have successfully hidden their marijuana use from each other for years despite being open about it with…
ATLANTA — Georgia man Scott Stevens claimed today that the festival he’s attending has somehow prevented him from showering since Wednesday, despite the festival being…
LOS ANGELES — Hardcore legend Henry Rollins wore a black pair of shorts to the funeral service of a family friend late last week, multiple…
DENVER — University of Colorado freshman Gordon Brill attempted last week to reveal his affinity for the band They Might Be Giants to his new,…
ATLANTA — Festival performer Peaches made out with various concert-goers throughout the day on the Project Pabst kiss cam, footage confirmed. The kiss cam, meant…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Renowned MIT physicist Lawrence Gordon inspired the scientific world early last week when he nearly retrieved a pick out of his acoustic…
BLOOMINGDALE, Ill. — Local retail employee Will Esposito was surprised last week to find Tower Records, his former place of employment, boarded up and abandoned…
ATLANTA — Iggy Pop slipped into anonymity at the Project Pabst festival today by putting on a T-shirt, casually strolling incognito on the festival grounds,…
LONDON — Spotify unveiled a new feature yesterday: an ‘Ironic Listening’ mode, which will give users access to music solely for mocking it, without disrupting…
I’m so sick of people acting like taking away guns would have prevented yesterday’s horrible lone wolf attack by a mentally disturbed man who would…
NEW YORK — Andrew “W.K.” Wilkes-Krier will run for the U.S. presidency in 2020 as a representative of all parties, his campaign strategist confirmed earlier…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Authorities at the Myers & Briggs Foundation added the NYHC category to their list of possible personality types earlier this week, organization…
ARLINGTON, Texas – Americans across the entire political spectrum were furious today as Cowboys owner Jerry Jones rolled up the American flag and sucked on…