PHILADELPHIA — An online dinner recipe for a simple, vegan-friendly lentil soup has allegedly been written as a “fucking novel for some reason,” hungry sources…
Aries (March 21-April 19) As an Aries, it’s no secret that you can be a giant diva from time to time… and you know what?…
DALLAS — Ricardo “the Scuzz” Garza tripled his net worth last night when he found a half of a pack of cigarettes on a venue…
AMSTERDAM — The life-long dream of American metal band Goat Machine came true last week when they finally performed a show in Holland for a…
INDIO, Calif. — President Trump’s original January 2017 administration lineup will reunite for this year’s Coachella music & arts festival, according to a press release…
SEATTLE — Amazon’s “Echo Chamber,” a next-generation smart speaker, will enable reaffirmation of users’ most dreadful opinions from anywhere in the house, company personnel revealed…
DALLAS, Texas — Concerned mother and sole reason for her children’s anxieties Pamela Yates suggested this morning that her kids “try listening to happier music,…
BOSTON — Craig Manning warned his fellow show attendees last night that there was a broken glass bottle on the floor of the venue, omitting…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Drummer Matt “Deadbolt” Horowitz of local folk-punk band Whiskey Dumpster Pioneerz couldn’t play his set last night when none of the other…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t going to change their mind. If you want to go on the…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local apartment tenant Adrian Delgado has filed his fifth noise complaint this month with building management, claiming that his next door neighbor…
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Metal diehard James Allen used the online tax filing platform TaxSlayer yesterday to “eviscerate, desecrate, and properly file” his 1040EZ tax return,…
LOS ANGELES — Indie rock mainstays The Decemberists’ new album, I’ll Be Your Girl, will be shipped with a syllabus, complete with required reading and…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Google unveiled its latest homepage Doodle today, honoring punk pariah GG Allin with a controversial effort to celebrate punk history, disgusted…
NEW YORK — The 2003 Ford Windstar that brought punk trio ElecMan down the East Coast last month is also used by drummer Cara Milton’s…