Char Byram
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PORTLAND — Local man Dave Hart decided to take the initiative and saturate himself with copious amounts of beer prior…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in…
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James Webster
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AUSTIN, Texas — Outdoor enthusiasts gathered today to celebrate the opening of a brand new multi-use outdoor space by watching…
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Dianne Nora
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AMHERST, N.Y. — Claudia Piper has selected the dress that she will vomit André Spumante all over this New Year’s…
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Michael Gursky
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NEW CASTLE, Del. — An unnamed man was arrested and taken into custody under the suspicion of “potentially having committed…
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Jus Kaplan
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers…
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Jason VanSlycke
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LOS ANGELES — Film director and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst put an end to years of debate by issuing…
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Matt McInerney
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PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether…
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Grace Fetterman
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LOS ANGELES — Stardust Diner, the latest 1950s style diner to open in Burbank, reportedly glosses over some key facts…
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Dom Turek
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RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common…
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