BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job he is expected to go…
SEATTLE — Bill and Melinda Gates assured friends, family, and fans that they fully intend to continue working with their foundation, as well as working…
ANYTOWN, USA — Darrell “Sloppy” Jones, the wacky friend and outlandish next-door neighbor from teen sitcom “Janey and Joey,” reportedly only acts that way to…
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — A recent study of your entire friend group came to the unimpeachable conclusion that Daniel Jordan, the biggest fuck up you…
Cultural sensibilities change and evolve over time. In our current cultural climate there are just certain things you could get away with on television in…
WASHINGTON — Father Damien Karras was elated to hear during a recent conversation with the demon Pazuzu that his recently deceased mother, Mary Karras, was…
CHICAGO — Local punk Gary “Crutch” Burke’s girlfriend Jacquelyn Flowers, who helped Burke get off of drugs, stop living on the street, and is paying…
DORAL, Fla. — Professional swimwear model and University of Miami co-ed Sarah Nguyen has sadly found her countless attempts at friend-requesting new and interesting people…
HYANNIS, Mass. — Local woman and generally uncertain person Anne Levy is on a desperate quest to validate her supposed “gut feeling” that she should…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Married best friends Lisa Johnson and Matt Kennedy have made a pact to get divorced if they are still unhappy by the…
FREDERICK, Md. — Longtime punk band Booger Eater realized yesterday that it’s been over 10 months since they occupied a stage at a local bar…
WEYMOUTH, Mass. — The guest list of an annual Friendsgiving celebration, truncated this year due to COVID-19 mandates, has shown excluded members their exact status…
NEW YORK — A group of lifelong friends prepared to have their dynamic changed this week as the announcement was made that a baby would…
BANGOR, Maine — Local gamer Ned Price finally downloaded a multiplayer game his friends have been playing nonstop for weeks, only to discover that they’ve…
MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end a Messenger conversation they initiated…