Andrew Murphy
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SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous…
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Bobby Korec
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I despise popular music. I frequently make it known that I exclusively listen to bands that are so obscure, they…
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local Vampire Weekend fan Archie Poole felt betrayed, confused, and saddened this week after hearing the music…
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Chris Jones
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LOS ANGELES — Foo Fighters frontman and former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl admitted that he has been chewing the same…
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John Dixon
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and avid merch buyer Ben Riley officially crossed the line from human being to…
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Mike Civins
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SCOTCH PLAINS, N.J. — Local software engineer and Faith No More superfan Duane Morsman left his residence this morning wearing…
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Ted Pillow
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SAN DIEGO — Seven-months pregnant 311 fan Shannon Kerrigan regrets using all of her favorite potential baby names on several…
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Jonah Nink
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DENVER — Local Weezer fan Andy Chaplin ate mosquitos, lampreys and other parasites off of local Pantera fan Chad Stern’s…
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Stephen Bell
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OBERLIN, Ohio — Supposed radical leftist Kristen Dermitt revealed herself to be a total poser today, wearing a Che Guevara…
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Dicky Stock
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PEMBROKE, Mass. — Local Dad and Lowe’s sales associate Brian Weckbacher was “giddy as a schoolboy” yesterday after conversing with…
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