MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Bobby Anderson, who spent the winter underdressed, is excited to spend the summer wearing way more…
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Ashley Naftule
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local realtor Aaron “Shredder” Dukowski can’t wait to show potential buyers exactly where a gruesome quadruple…
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Brendan Krick
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EUGENE, Ore. — Perpetually inconsiderate roommate Michael Chabot was thrilled yesterday to discover a giant pile of garbage in his…
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Heather Cook
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FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket…
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James Webster
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NEW YORK — Local punk Kyle Gilbert is ecstatic for his countless opportunities to explain the historical significance of Bikini…
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Elizabeth Teets
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BOISE, Idaho — The freshly cleaned bedroom of local woman Megan O’Leary is “anxiously excited” to meet O’Leary’s potential sexual…
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Rick Homuth
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DALLAS — Everyone attending power-pop trio Ball Pit’s tour kickoff show last week was “ecstatic” about the band leaving town…
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Steven Kowalski
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AUSTIN, Texas — Recent Austin transplant Kimberly Meeks is eager to complain about her first South by Southwest every chance…
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SPOKANE, WA - Local Facebook user Josh Larson was “on cloud nine” following the acceptance of his friend request by…
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