Wilson Conkwright
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BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in…
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Patrick Coyne
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WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday…
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John Dixon
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GOLDEN, Colo. — Legendary metal band Pantera announced today a collaboration with Coors Brewing Company to bring their fans a…
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Ramona Apthorp
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk Dylan Alan filled a rinsed-out and drying Diva Cup full of vodka last night during…
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Bobby Korec
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PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Local inebriated man Kevin Donaghue drank a few sips of water before bed moments ago in an…
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James Knapp
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Oh man, I shouldn’t have done that last Jaegerbomb. Or the seven before that one. Or those eleven Heinekens afterward.…
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Ryan Danley
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local woman Amber Stevens is looking forward to a return of her favorite pastime of crying outside…
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Krissy Howard
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SOCORRO, N.M. — A long-forgotten 10-quart pot filled with vegan chili was officially rebranded into a fully-functional composting toilet following…
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Louie Aronowitz
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HILL VALLEY, Calif. — Marty McFly admitted today that he now mostly uses his time machine to go back in…
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Tom Peters
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Let’s face it, getting older brings a new series of challenges when it comes to getting totally fucked up. Higher…
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