Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused from the rule that all…
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — Police detained NASA astronaut Charles Washington today as he boarded the Orion V spacecraft during launch preparations, demanding to know if…
All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all donuts and service medals for…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not long after learning that police…
SEATTLE — Seattle Police Lieutenant Chuck Haines is beginning to worry that his dealer may be tampering with his cocaine, following a rash of well-publicized…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising, will take place in the…
I’ve heard a lot of my fellow Americans question the moral compass and general decency of the fine men and women who serve in our…
ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly handed blasters and keys to…
GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
NEW YORK — Following the removal of episodes of 30 Rock, Community, and Scrubs episodes from streaming services for featuring characters in blackface, NBC Universal…
CLEVELAND — Video evidence of police officers leaving incendiary red barrels near protest sites has created controversy online. “The barrels were not meant to incite…
NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality yesterday, when he collided with…
America is more divided than ever on the issue of policing and frustrations are at a boiling point as we watch clashes between protesters and…
NEW YORK — The NYPD confirmed today that they have launched an official investigation into the controller purchased at a local GameStop by policeman Steve…
NEW YORK — Violent criminals and feral animals from across the country gathered in New York yesterday to protest America’s unfair comparison of their ilk…