In America, police officers kill about 1,100 citizens per year — roughly 30 times that of the next leading nation. Every time the cops kill…
DALLAS — Local white man Darrell Hargrove raised alarm bells yesterday after a traffic incident led experts to believe his mugshot may soon appear on…
On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Local law enforcement veteran Sergeant David Maddison drew praise from fellow officers for deftly concealing his identity to evade community criticism and…
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — FBI Agent Dan Trolley defused a tense standoff with local police over the jurisdiction of a crime scene with a well-timed racist…
ATLANTA — Stay-at-home mother Mary Benson wishes that her husband, Atlanta Sheriff Rick Benson, believed her explanations of the goings-on in their home as much…
EUGENE, Ore. — Tearful members of the Whiteaker Neighborhood Association determined through contentions debate yesterday that the common protest refrain “ACAB,” standing for “All Cops…
BATON ROUGE, La. — Convicted murderer and death row inmate Tanner Greene’s biggest regret in life is not becoming a cop before embarking on the…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Ofc. Michael Skolnyk opened fire on a grand jury yesterday after they figuratively slapped him on the wrist for his history of…
LOS ANGELES — Bored police officer Brady Sullivan decided to beat peaceful protesters advocating for racial justice yesterday while only using his left arm so…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his uniform in the precinct locker…
CHICAGO — Chicago Police Sgt. Connor Ring is on paid administrative leave after he shot a toddler in the face for “getting his nose” at…
DIAMONDHEAD, Miss. — Local anger management counselor Damien Hall is in hot water today after instructing police officer Wayne Bailey to visualize potential suspects as…
As a 20 year veteran of the police force, I am getting real tired of everyone bashing the shield. Somehow wearing this uniform every day…
PORTLAND, Maine — Portland Police Department Officer Grace Hutchinson somehow fully believes that people have only recently started tampering with her food, snickering sources confirm.…