MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
AUTOBOT CITY — Heroic Autobot Optimus Prime is currently forbidden from morphing into his truck form and driving on roads following a failed highway safety…
PHILADELPHIA – Local friend and owner of a comfortable and reliable five-seat sedan, Victor Schnellenberger, is planning to quit drinking alcohol and begin a long…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man and dedicated Al’s Automotive supporter Brian Crespi was shocked and devastated to learn that the mechanic he sees regularly…
LAUREL, Md. — Local emotional person Cara Lucas was interrupted while crying and shouting along to the chorus of Bright Eyes song “Poison Oak” by…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Samuel Burke was reportedly unsure when to name drop heavy metal band Sepultura to the tow truck operator who hauled Burke’s…
NEW YORK — Using words like “pro,” “premium,” and “racing-style,” sources have confirmed that the black 2015 Chevy Camaro with cool neon green accents parked…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Police officers on the scene of a texting and driving accident last night that claimed the life of a local teen confirmed…
CINCINNATI — Members of local indie-rock band Dragon Farm are positive their full set of amps will easily fit in a Toyota Yaris, forgoing taking…
JACKSON, Miss. — A Department of Sanitation report released early this morning stated that giant piles of garbage in passenger seats of messy cars across…
QUINCY, Mass. — A pair of teenagers crossing the parking lot of an abandoned strip mall moments ago report that there is definitely someone fucking…
MARIETTA, Ga. — Car owner Charlie Simmons admitted today that he swapped out his copy of Belle & Sebastian’s album Dear Catastrophe Waitress for Pantera’s…
POMPANO BEACH, Fla. — The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that a Sublime sticker on the back of a local man’s 1995 Nissan…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
BOISE, Idaho — A car full of emo fans nearly devolved into chaos early yesterday morning as all five passengers suddenly assumed they were singing…