Tyler Dark
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In my entire life, I have never breathed a sigh of relief quite like the one I enjoyed when I…
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Andy Holt
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PENNSYLVANIA — Gamer consultants have advised the Trump and Biden campaigns that it’s pointless to spam votes in low-effect areas…
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ABINGTON, Mass. — A local man’s chances of talking to his parents in a civil manner once again is too…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — A poll of citizens leaving a nondescript brick building today gave no new information on which to gauge…
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Stephen Bell
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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught…
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Saad Khan
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ERIE, Pa. — Local gamer Glenn Rice reportedly purchased both Nate Silver and Nate Gold versions of the 2020 presidential…
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Bobby Korec
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CHICAGO — Historically undecided voter Gunther Wexler waited eight grueling hours yesterday to cast a “protest” vote for Harambe, the…
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Kevin Tit
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NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled…
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As an aspiring pastor, I wish that people were always asking me if I believe Donald Trump is a Godly…
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Nariko Ott
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WASHINGTON — Republicans across the country are drawing up new state maps in a desperate attempt to confuse voters and…
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