AUGUSTA, Maine — A gender neutral bathroom at local, all ages DIY punk venue Ramparts is reportedly covered from floor to ceiling in alarmingly racist…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet seat that “felt just right,…
DENVER — Local retail worker Carson Patterson earned himself a luxurious, three-minute paid vacation for Labor Day by faking a shit-break, awe-inspired sources confirm. “It…
With a 114-minute running time and questionable buzz in advance of its release, you might be wondering whether you’ll have time to go relieve yourself…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
ONEONTA, N.Y. — Patrons at punk venue The Station report that the only functioning fixture in the entire bathroom is local coke dealer Reese Wicker,…
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Local DIY punk venue Fr33k Haus had pledged to equip each of their bathroom stalls with doors by 2021, management…
PHILADELPHIA — Management at the Dust Bucket DIY venue proudly announced yesterday the opening of a new, gender-neutral spot on the property’s neighboring fence for…
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Influential songwriter and musician Tom Waits is being sued by a dive bar bathroom stall, alleging the artist has plagiarised lyrics…
DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved office worker confirmed this morning.…
MINNEAPOLIS — Laura Reynolds discovered her ex-boyfriends tag last night in the bathroom stall of local venue the 331 Club, effectively ruining her evening and…
CHICAGO — Famed rockstar Dave Grohl was seen swearing and clutching his left palm inside the men’s bathroom at Chicago’s Allstate Arena last night after…
RICHMOND, Va. — Riley Tabul, dressed in a new, floral romper, is oblivious to the icy stares she’s receiving from everyone waiting in line for…
CHICAGO — Aging punks Paul Schiffer and Jessica Hernandez believe their sex life has become stale, following their most recent “routine and lackluster pounding” in a…
PHILADELPHIA — A recent appraisal of soon-to-be-closed bar and venue Jasmine’s Lounge attributed nearly all of the dilapidated building’s value to the collection of stickers…