NEW ORLEANS — A weekly Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting was recently attended by all three former members of the band Cyanide Churro, who individually arrived hoping…
Meet Lisa Bergeron, when her primary care physician told her the weekly recommended number of drinks for a woman her size was between five and…
People say the darndest things. They call my drinking habits “concerning” and say my behavior is “out of control.” But if the amount I drink…
PHILADELPHIA — Local 36-year-old Dennis Waller’s out-of-control alcohol problem can evidently be traced back to the large amount of mid-to-late ‘90s professional wrestling he watched…
Look around, notice anything? ‘90s nostalgia is in full effect, and nothing says “‘90s” like classic Budweiser commercials. We wanted to find out how these…
You did it again. The allure of drinking until you blackout was just too tempting, so here you are on another Tuesday, waking up at…
TORONTO — Family and friends of local man Neil Dupont are growing increasingly concerned for his health after showing signs that his alcohol problem has…
OTTAWA — Local office employee Keith Nolan reported that he finally achieved the ultimate work-life balance by deciding to drink at work, according to witnesses…
To be an artist is to suffer. While my suffering may resemble what in others could be deemed “a drinking problem” and “the reason we…
SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a single, clean wipe, confirmed sources…
BOSTON — Recently sober man, Brad McBride, is consuming non-alcoholic beers with a ruthlessness comparable to the way he used to consume alcoholic beers, worried…
HIALEAH, Fla. — A new report from local drunk Emily Kinder indicates that the standards of alcoholism held by her primary care physician are “weak…
WASHINGTON — A new report from the National Institute of Health finds that rates of insomnia claimed by many late-thirties and forty-year-olds are totally valid…
ST. LOUIS — Local bass player Terry Gilchrist stood in quiet awe as his bass cab “Bertha” took down an astounding amount of drinks while…
I remember bouncing on my father’s knee when I was just a boy, his breath that comforting aroma of Milwaukee’s Best and 711 taquitos. He…