Ben Friedman
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NEWTON, Mass. — Local man Jim Conelly announced today that due to aging out of the St. Patrick’s Day bar…
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John Danek
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MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — A new study revealed that the average millennial has heard the intro to the Minutemen’s classic “Corona”…
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Ben Friedman
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SAN DIEGO — Aging millennial Tim Baxter announced that he fell in love with a girl at a much less…
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James Knapp
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HALSINGLAND, Sweden — A new study revealed that the vast majority of individuals aged 26 to 42 consider the acid…
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Matt McInerney
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SEATTLE – Members of the seminal and often troubled emo band Grass Is Greener are reportedly getting back together after…
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John Danek
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JESSUP, Md. — Depressed, despondent millennial Harry Chalke confused those around him when he unwittingly quoted Beck’s “Loser” while summarizing…
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SAN DIEGO — Local breadwinner and career bassist Clarissa Khatri announced a leave of absence from his day job after…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Overambitious elder millennial Janine Angler was released from the hospital yesterday and is expected to make a full…
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