BECKLEY, W. Va. — Recent Philidelpia transplant Abigail Kingaby is currently making rounds to visit several friends, all buried among local graveyards, during a trip…
FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Health-conscious punk Stacey “Skaggs” Bellamy will no longer drive her rusted-out cargo van to purchase illicit substances, but will instead bike…
EUGENE, Ore. – A local fuck-up is hopeful this morning that the nutrients from his half-consumed Synergy Gingerberry kombucha will be more than enough to…
In the faced-paced world of today most folks want to become addicted to something, but just don’t know where to start. Luckily, when you look…
FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Obvious alcoholic and general mess of a human being Jerrold Long announced today that he will spend the entire evening, and the…
RENO, Nev. — Local man and former alcoholic Richard McCann allegedly considers himself “totally sober” now, after switching the focus of his addiction from alcohol…
BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep” Gretchen Matherson celebrated six months…
BALTIMORE — Local record store owner Dawn Rawlings is starting a needle exchange program for vinyl addicts, hoping to contain the audiophilia epidemic ravaging her…