It seems my friends and family have gathered here to take part in some sort of intervention due to my so-called “clover-loving” behavior. But like…
I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about Ticketmaster and how they have a stronghold on the ticketing industry, but I’m going to tell you…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Local punk Buddy Freeman admitted that the pills he steals out of his grandmother’s medicine cabinet used to be for recreation, but…
If you are looking to quit smoking crack, be it for the first or three hundredth time, congratulations! Quitting smoking crack is a process millions…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers himself to be “a functioning…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
The enormity of Kanye West’s celebrity is colossal. His followers are legion. Sneakerheads worship his designs. His artistry has generated behemoth record sales and he…
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after refusing to let him put…
MIAMI — A small group of 19th Century time travelers is reportedly very disappointed with the lack of readily available cocaine in modern times, according…
Any “expert” who says willpower alone isn’t enough to overcome an addiction clearly hasn’t met Sara Whittaker, a woman whose ironclad self-discipline has allowed her…
LINCOLN, Neb. — A local woman was seen performing life-sustaining measures on her Marlboro Menthol cigarette after finding it barely clinging to life at the…
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
SPOKANE, Wash. — Office punk Kory Strawser recently formed a tepid peace with the security guard at her day job when both came to the…
This is getting ridiculous. When I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I thought it would be a cool bunch of people swapping stories about…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. -— Punk sommelier and founder of Rotten Grape Vineyards, Terry “Tooth” Berkley recently shouted that the only good pairing is whippits and…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local stoner Dave Truman set out to prove to friends, family, and acquaintances that weed is not addictive by abstaining from the…