LOS ANGELES — Three legendary punk frontmen, Dexter Holland, Milo Aukerman, and Greg Graffin, all departed their respective bands to join forces and prepare for…
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Swampass, Mississippi Named after Confederate General Ezekial Swampass III, this town is actually a centerpoint of traditional southern arts and culture, thanks largely to its…
WASHINGTON — A new report from the National Institute of Health finds that rates of insomnia claimed by many late-thirties and forty-year-olds are totally valid…
Ay Caramba! Did “The Simpsons” again predict the future? One eagle-eyed viewer believes he spotted a truly unnerving and possibly earth-shattering new prediction in a…
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. — Local graphic designer Eddy Dignan adopted a grueling schedule of listening to songs and artists in order to game the Spotify Wrapped…
TOKYO — American gymnast Simone Biles earned a bronze medal earlier today for her performance on a balance beam you probably can’t even hoist yourself…
SEATTLE — Local homebody Jenny Wellmeyer experienced generalized anxiety due to the overwhelming pressure to go do something outside while the weather was absolutely gorgeous,…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed startling new data about his company’s cloud storage system stating that nearly all the files saved to…
RENO, Nev. — Local man Josh Stegman reportedly now prefers the worst part of the concert experience to no experience at all, sending Ticketmaster $18.50…
WASHINGTON — The recently added census question, “What is your darkest fear?” has sparked confusion amongst citizens filling out the questionnaire, U.S. Census Bureau officials…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local bathroom occupant Dan Corrigan has reportedly been plagued by incessant social media ads for Anthem, EA’s failed 2019 shooter, ever since…
MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large spider spotted on the snare…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer Dexter Holland in the ‘90s,…
WASHINGTON — Over two dozen White House staff members with clandestine ties to the Kremlin and operating within President Trump’s trusted inner circle admitted today…
NEW YORK — Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark announced a proposal today that would solve the ongoing climate crisis by shooting a big ol’ honkin’ laser…
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